i’ve been living in my cozy little studio for almost two months now, and while everything is great (i.e. - cooking breakfast in my underwear), the one thing that i do NOT enjoy is having to deal with the bugs. when i lived in a house with five other people, it was easy to make one of my guy roommates kill them, but now that i’m alone it’s all up to me. and i have to deal with this about once a week.
roaches were always the big problem in NYC, but in st. louis they’re house centipedes. these things are gross. i don’t care that they’re pretty small and harmless, or that they’re actually okay to have around because they eat other bugs. i cannot stand them. seriously. i cannot even begin to describe to you how disgusting these things are. i’ve included a link just so you can vomit too.
what really gets me is that they move so freaking fast. probably due to their 15 PAIRS OF LEGS. but i’ve pretty much mastered a plan of attack: (1) i take a clear glass and trap the bug (2) then i slide a piece of paper underneath (3) then i walk as calmly as possible to the toilet and (4) shake the glass until the bug falls into the water (5) then flush the toilet at least 3 times. it’s an elaborate process but it’s also the only way i know how to deal with these things, because if there’s one thing i hate more than bugs, it’s the thought of squishing them.
so why, if i’ve been living here for almost two months now and have killed at least 8 of these things, have i suddenly posted on this issue? because i’ve just encountered the BIGGEST FUCKING HOUSE CENTIPEDE OF MY LIFE. seriously. i think i’ve discovered a new subspecies of house centipede. i saw it out of the corner of my eye and almost fell out of my chair. when i bent down to place the glass over the bug, i panicked and basically slammed the glass down on only half of the centipede, essentially cutting it in half. i’m pretty sure i killed it. but i can’t bring myself to pick it up and throw it out, or even go near the glass, so for now i just have one of my drinking glasses upside down on my floor, covering half of the grossest bug i’ve ever seen in my life. lovely.
tonight and tomorrow are gonna be bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S, bananas.
wheeeeeee!
so Josh Ritter pretty much brought the house down last night. i’ve seen him a bunch of times before, but never at such a small venue (it was about the size of Mercury Lounge) and i was about 5 feet away from him. i shit you not - i was practically onstage. some notable highlights of the evening:
- he talked about how he loved going down the slides at the City Museum and referred to it as “such a tremendous gift” (i mean, really - who talks like that?)
- he chugged his entire beer, popped his collar, then started belting out “To the Dogs or Whoever”
- he had the lights turned down real low during “Kathleen”, ordered us all to slow dance, then grabbed a girl onstage with him and DANCED WITH HER (sadly, the girl was not me)
- he roused the audience in a sing-along to “Empty Hearts”
- he performed a completely unplugged, acoustic version of “The Girl in the War”
- and as always, his 1,000 watt smile that lights up an entire room, along with his infectious giddiness while playing, were in full force
